{"id":1643,"date":"2020-06-05T23:45:42","date_gmt":"2020-06-05T23:45:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/excrcl.com\/?p=1643"},"modified":"2020-07-30T19:01:18","modified_gmt":"2020-07-30T19:01:18","slug":"living-in-the-present","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/excrcl.com\/?p=1643","title":{"rendered":"Living in the Present"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

For the first time in a long time \u2013 perhaps ever \u2013 I feel it’s relatively easy to live in the present. Planning during a pandemic is nearly impossible. As much as I\u2019d like to hold out hope that certain events will take place \u2013 concerts, sporting events, returning to work from furlough, alumni reunions, travel \u2013 I think it\u2019d be foolishly optimistic to fantasize about them. But that\u2019s OK. The reality is, so long as I\u2019m happy and healthy, I don\u2019t need <\/em>anything. I\u2019m pretty decently content with spending my days running trails, calling friends, reading books, and listening to music. I\u2019m a bit bored at times, but really. During times like these, being bored is a luxury. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The inability to plan has made it surprising when something actually sticks to schedule, though. My dentist appointment the other day, for example. When I rescheduled it from late April to early June, June seemed an eternity away. I never thought I\u2019d see that appointment, and then it just arrived. It felt like it snuck up on me, oddly enough, though it had always been there. I guess I\u2019ve just gotten so accustomed to things getting cancelled nowadays. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The dentist appointment was mixed, as it always is. My hygienist kept going on and on to me about how my teeth had some serious stains. But then after making me feel bad about it, she proceeded to talk at length about how the stains were easily removed with polish, how they\u2019re likely the result of coffee, that no specific mouthwash or toothpaste could have prevented them, etc. Then the dentist arrived and said my teeth were beautiful. I felt I was receiving contradictory feedback. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The\ncomment that actually got me wasn\u2019t about my teeth, though. When I walked in\nand sat in the chair, my hygienist almost immediately asked me, \u201cAre you a\nrunner?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\nget this question pretty regularly. And 99% of the time it\u2019s from a male who\u2019s\nbeen staring at my legs. I don\u2019t appreciate it. But this time was different \u2013\nthe hygienist was looking at my ghastly toenails peeking out of my\nBirkenstocks. She went, \u201cI\u2019m not a huge runner, but it really messes up my\ntoenails. It looks like you must run a lot<\/em>!\u201d This is really no way to\nmake friends with your clients. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

That day at the dentist was overall weird. I had been up since 5:20 a.m. I went for a run. Then, just sitting down to breakfast, my roommate called. She was at the DMV, in line, and had forgotten an important document to get her new license. Could I drive it over to her so she wouldn\u2019t lose her place? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\nwas in a hazy state as it was. It was 6:40, I was hungry, tired, sweaty, and\nstill contemplating the previous day, when I had not only a black cat cross my\nway, but three black squirrels. I was in an internal debate about which was\nunluckier. In any event, I hastily scoured my roomie\u2019s bedroom, found the document,\nand hopped in the car. I was going to shake off the weird feelings I had, damn\nit. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Things continued in a strange way, unfortunately. I got out of the dentist and knew that not only was our ancient landlord coming to the house, but also the carpet cleaners. I intentionally brought my sneakers with me to the dentist, planning on strolling through a park for an hour or so to avoid both. But when I stepped outside, it was thunderstorming. At 9 a.m. In Colorado<\/em>. This was perplexing. I guess I\u2019d go home? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

While\nI managed to avoid our landlord initially, he returned to the house later to\nramble to me about how we needed to get everything off the carpets \u2013 which we\nhad done, to the best of our ability, and pretty well if I say so myself. I\nnodded mutely and kept glancing out the window at our front lawn, the\ngrandfather clock laying horizontally in the grass. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The grandfather clock has a formidable history. About two and a half years ago, I was studying abroad in Germany for a month, learning all about the life and music of Johann Sebastian Bach. I woke up one morning, on a completely different time zone than my friends at college, to a long string of Facebook messages. My future housemate, Bryce, was the culprit. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bryce\nand I would be living with three friends in a house off-campus the following\nyear, and he had discovered a \u201cmagnificent\u201d grandfather clock for the space on\nCraigslist. The series of messages were basically him urgently informing me and\nthe other three:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGUYS\nTHERE\u2019S A MAGNIFICENT GRANDFATHER CLOCK ON CRAIGSLIST THAT WE SIMPLY MUST HAVE\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGUYS\nCALLIE [Bryce\u2019s ex-girlfriend] IS IN A FIERCE BID WAR WITH ME OVER IT\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGUYS\nI NEED TO HAVE THIS CLOCK\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\nTHINK IT\u2019S MINE\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGUYS\nGUYS GUYS I WON THE BID WAR\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cso\nif everyone could venmo me like 15-20$ to chip in for the clock that would be\nawesome\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\nsat there, sweating from a humid-cold December run through the streets of\nLeipzig, eating cereal and shaking my head. There was no way I was paying Bryce\na cent for the clock. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But\nsure enough, the clock arrived in our house the following August and was a\nuseless yet charming decoration. By the time May and graduation came for us,\nthe clock was the least of my preoccupations. God bless two of my housemates,\nSophia and Marta, who actually moved the clock to our next house \u2013 the house I\njust moved out of. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The clock stood right by the door and had a very leaning-tower-of-Pisa-like quality to it. I was shocked it had never fallen over and crushed someone. In the last month, while cleaning out the house and preparing for new students to move in, I moved the clock to the living room, where I thought it\u2019d be less likely to take a tumble. Yet it stood so precariously still. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A\nweek or so later, I was seated at the dining room table when I heard a large\ncrash in the living room. The clock had fallen over and smashed on my drum kit\n\u2026 spontaneously. We always thought the house was haunted, but this just felt\nvery spooky. There was literally no force to compel it to move, whereas by the\nfront door, it always had a mechanism for destruction. I straightened up the\nglass as best as I could, bewildered. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then\nthe day before the carpet cleaning arrived. And I thought: this clock just has\nto go. My roommate helped me dispose of the glass and started carrying it out\nthe door. She noted, \u201cIt looks like a coffin, especially when we carry it like\nthis, eh?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And\nit remained coffin-like. Laying in the grass, hail and rain pouring down on it,\nreceiving confused looks from passersby, the clock became more and more eerie.\nAnd I couldn\u2019t help but feel it very symbolic. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s\nthe end of a chapter. I moved out of that house in the Springs; so have all but\none of my roommates in the last month. The next time our lives cross paths is\nuncertain. And that has nothing to do with living together again \u2013 it\u2019s\nuncertain when we\u2019ll even see <\/em>each other again. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The\nclock represented our time together. And I suppose with it breaking, it also\nrepresents how meaningless time has become. I wake up every day having no idea\nwhat\u2019s in store for the next 24 hours, yet at the same time, knowing exactly<\/em>\nwhat will happen. How\u2019s that? That\u2019s living in the present, I suppose. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

For the first time in a long time \u2013 perhaps ever \u2013 I feel it’s relatively easy to live in the present. Planning during a pandemic is nearly impossible. As much as I\u2019d like to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1643","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ponderings"],"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/excrcl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1643","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/excrcl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/excrcl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/excrcl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/excrcl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1643"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/excrcl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1643\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1644,"href":"https:\/\/excrcl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1643\/revisions\/1644"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/excrcl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1643"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/excrcl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1643"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/excrcl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1643"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}