Do you think I’m an athlete?

I realized the other night that when I originally created this blog five years ago, the whole intention of the “ponderings” page was precisely what I’ve just now been doing — that is, small blurbs / ideas / thoughts that come to me throughout the day. I suppose that’s what Twitter is for, though I’ve never been very good at that. But somewhere along the line, I decided that no, these posts couldn’t be so short and simplistic; they had to have a cohesive topic.

I think that’s why the blog seems to have needed constant revival: I feel obligated to mull over themes for long periods of time before I can properly address them through writing. Unconsciously, I was trying to create vignettes, in a David Sedaris-esque fashion. Thus, most of my posts prior to this week were ideas I had stewing for literal weeks, waiting to gain some content, concreteness, and above all, a strong takeaway. There are certainly no strong takeaways to these little snippets I’m doing now, but I think there’s merit to both post types. And with that, here are some “ponderings” in their initial, intended form…

My department at work is really trying to keep morale up, so we’ve been having regular video check-ins to roast each other, drink cocktails, show each other our dogs and various small children. One of my co-workers found a great trivia website, so we’re now battling it out on topics such as “sports films” and “beer.” To participate in the trivia game, you have to enter a nickname for yourself (another golden opportunity to ridicule/sabotage each other). My co-worker Sam, who primarily works at our warehouse and deals with all shipping, freight, and mail services, emailed all of us, saying, “I am Union Slim if anyone was curious. He is my fork lift driver alter ego.”

Yesterday, I was out for a long run. I was turning the corner onto my road and discovered that there was a girl running ahead of me, a man running toward me, and a woman biking alongside me. I thought to myself, “Wow, this is the most humans of Orange County, NY, I have ever witnessed all exercising at the same time!”

Speaking of exercise, perhaps it’s working for the Olympic and Paralympic Committee, but I increasingly have had this thought: “Man, if I had just decided earlier, I could have been an elite athlete.” It doesn’t help that so many people I know make me seem like a hero if I run even five miles. I realize that this thought is preposterous on many levels, but I think there’s something we like about being the undermined, the woe-begotten. If anything, I can at least identify with Ash, from my favorite movie, Fantastic Mr. Fox:

The supermarket is a fascinating location right now, particularly for noting what “apocalypse purchases” people are making. Everyone talks about the lack of paper products. What no one is talking about are the paper products that remain: lotion-infused tissues. That’s right: even if they run out of toilet paper, no Americans want to use that stuff on their, as my Indonesian music professor referred to them as, “nether-regions.”

We’ll see how long these snippets last. It’s less a lack of time/motivation — I have nothing better to do, really — more a lack of content. There is only so much you can muse about when you are quarantined indefinitely. *inserts upside-down smiley-face emoji*

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